簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話翻譯篇一：看笑話學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑翻譯

1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天，有一個(gè)城市里的游客來(lái)到一個(gè)小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開(kāi)著車，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過(guò)日子。這位城里人看見(jiàn)一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹(shù)上的蘋果。城里人對(duì)農(nóng)夫說(shuō)，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫 回答說(shuō)，"時(shí)間對(duì)豬有什么意義?"

2.The Looney Bin

Late one night at the insane asylum (瘋?cè)嗽海﹐ne inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

瘋?cè)嗽?/p>

一天晚上，在瘋?cè)嗽豪�，一個(gè)病人說(shuō)：“我是拿破侖！”另一個(gè)說(shuō)：“你怎么知道？”第一個(gè)人說(shuō)：“上帝對(duì)我說(shuō)的！”一會(huì)兒，一個(gè)聲音從另一個(gè)房間傳來(lái)：“我沒(méi)說(shuō)！”

Notes:

（1）Looney (俚語(yǔ)）瘋子

（2）inmate （n.同住者, 同室者(特指在醫(yī)院、監(jiān)獄)）

（3）insane asylum (瘋?cè)嗽海?/p>

3.Boxing and Running

Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."

Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

拳擊和賽跑

丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個(gè)粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎么去拼搏�！�

朋友：“如果他碰上的對(duì)手是一個(gè)比他高大，健壯而且也會(huì)拳擊的人怎么辦？”

丹：“我也會(huì)教他怎么樣賽跑呢�！�

NOTE

come up against 遇到一個(gè)對(duì)手 against表示相對(duì)的相反的

4.The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"

George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

典獄長(zhǎng)對(duì)獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因?yàn)槊糠曛苣┑奶皆L日，大多數(shù)囚犯都有家人或朋友來(lái)訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

因此在一個(gè)探訪日，典獄長(zhǎng)把喬治叫到辦公室說(shuō)：“喬治，我注意到從來(lái)沒(méi)有人來(lái)探望過(guò)你�！彼麧M懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒(méi)有任何朋友或家人嗎？”

喬治回答：“喔！當(dāng)然有，典獄長(zhǎng)，只不過(guò)他們?nèi)�都在這里面！”

5.Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of(來(lái)自:smilezhuce.com 蒲公英文摘:簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話翻譯) your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。

6.A shoplifter（商店扒手）51kxh.cn |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook（騙子，壞蛋） looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

一個(gè)小偷在一家珠寶店企圖偷走一只手表的時(shí)候被當(dāng)場(chǎng)擒獲�！奥�(tīng)著，”小偷說(shuō)，“我知道你們也不想惹麻煩。我把這只表買下，然后我們就當(dāng)什么也沒(méi)發(fā)生，你看怎樣？”

經(jīng)理表示同意，然后列了一張售貨單。小偷看著單子說(shuō)道：“這比我最初的預(yù)算稍稍高了一點(diǎn)，你們還有沒(méi)有便宜一點(diǎn)兒東西。"

7.The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by asentry（哨兵） . When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams（縫合線） . [來(lái)自我要看笑話51kxh.cn]

"What's in here?" he asked.

"Dirt," the driver replied.

"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."

Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.

"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.

"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.

Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender（酒保） .

簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話翻譯篇二：10個(gè)經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(帶中文對(duì)照)

10個(gè)經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(帶中文對(duì)照).txt如果青春的時(shí)光在閑散中度過(guò)，那么回憶歲月將是一場(chǎng)凄涼的悲劇。雜草多的地方莊稼少，空話多的地方智慧少。即使路上沒(méi)有花朵，我仍可以欣賞荒蕪。Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."杰克騎車摔傷,得住院治療.一位年輕美貌的護(hù)士拿著表格讓填.仞杰克填好遞上表格"還有什么漏填的?"護(hù)士問(wèn). "有!"杰克想了想說(shuō),"我是個(gè)單身漢."Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.妻子:你看這張報(bào)紙,據(jù)統(tǒng)計(jì),死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫:那有什么?據(jù)我調(diào)查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃飯的."Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine.""Yours?Can you prove it?""Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it.""請(qǐng)?jiān)��?你占了我的位置.""你的位置?你能征明這點(diǎn)嗎?""能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"一天,夏娃問(wèn)亞當(dāng):"你當(dāng)真愛(ài)我嗎?"亞當(dāng)無(wú)可奈何地回答:"我還有的選擇嗎?"Always Thirsty"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me.""That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?""No, but I am always thirsty!"總感到口渴一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友說(shuō)：“我動(dòng)了一次手術(shù)，手術(shù)后醫(yī)生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了�！薄罢媸翘�糟糕了！”朋友說(shuō)道：“你覺(jué)得疼嗎？”“不疼，可是我總感到口渴�！盇 Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.Father: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.一個(gè)有效的方法爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝這么多水呀？杰克：我剛才吃了個(gè)蘋果，爸爸。爸爸：可是這跟喝水有什么關(guān)系呢？杰克：我忘了洗蘋果呀。A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice teapot.Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.凱特的禮物凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎？媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什么呀？凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。媽媽：可是我已經(jīng)有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。凱特：不，你沒(méi)有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。The Doctor Knows BetterA man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill.""I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive.""Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"醫(yī)生懂得多一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。他的妻子站在他的床前對(duì)醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“我想他傷得很厲害�！贬t(yī)生說(shuō)：“恐怕他已經(jīng)死了�！甭�(tīng)到醫(yī)生的話，這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說(shuō)：“我沒(méi)死，我還活著�！逼拮诱f(shuō)：“安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多�！盬aste or Save?Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?浪費(fèi)還是節(jié)約父親：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。難道你不知道你這是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎？杰克：我知道，爸爸�？晌疫�給您節(jié)省了一頓飯呢，是不是？Why Is He HowlingDentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!他為什么喊牙醫(yī)：請(qǐng)你不要再喊了！我還沒(méi)碰你的牙呢。病人：我知道，可是你正踩著我的腳呀！

簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話翻譯篇三：英語(yǔ)小笑話(帶翻譯))

1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：這個(gè)座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。 2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？ 女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不識(shí)字 布朗夫人：哦， 親愛(ài)的，我把珍愛(ài)的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告��！ 布朗夫人：沒(méi)有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字。 ” 4.反正我太太明天會(huì)來(lái)?yè)Q的My Wife Will Exchange ThemA gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference ? ″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天會(huì)來(lái)?yè)Q的 一位先生走進(jìn)一家商店要買副手套。 “您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問(wèn)。

“沒(méi)什么區(qū)別�！边@位顧客回答。 “那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問(wèn)。 “什么顏色都成�！彼�回答。 “號(hào)碼呢？” “您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點(diǎn)不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會(huì)來(lái)?yè)Q的�！�5.A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his class mates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thund er rolls? Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考試 在一次物理考試時(shí)，當(dāng)同學(xué)們都還在苦思冥想時(shí)，尼克很快就答好了第一個(gè)問(wèn)題。 這個(gè)問(wèn)題是：為什么在打雷時(shí)，我們總是先看到閃電后聽(tīng)到雷聲？ 尼克的回答是：因?yàn)檠劬υ谇�，耳朵在后�?6. Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的歷史考試 舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？ 母親：唉，糟透了�？稍捰终f(shuō)回來(lái)，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問(wèn)一些這個(gè)可憐的孩子出生 前的事兒。 7.he is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個(gè)大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有 1000 個(gè)人。 -- 他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 8 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問(wèn)，“發(fā)生了什么事？” “一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說(shuō)。 “再見(jiàn)到他你能認(rèn)出來(lái)嗎？”媽媽問(wèn)。 “他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說(shuō)�！八�的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢�！� 9 Three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we're not one or two years old!" 一個(gè)三歲小男孩拉著一個(gè)三歲小女孩的手說(shuō)：“我愛(ài)你�！毙∨�孩說(shuō)：“你能為我的未來(lái)負(fù)責(zé) 嗎？”小男孩說(shuō)：“當(dāng)然能，我們都不是一兩歲的人了！ 10. Bedtime Prayers Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy." Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?" And Julie replied, "Because that/’s what I put in my geography exam!" 睡前禱告詞 朱莉葉在做睡前禱告�！岸\告上帝，”她說(shuō)，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯 成為意大利的首都吧�！� 媽媽打斷她說(shuō)：“朱莉葉，你為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢？” 朱莉葉回答說(shuō)：“因?yàn)槲以诘乩砜季砩鲜沁@么寫的。”

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