關(guān)于幽默的英語(yǔ)作文
發(fā)布時(shí)間:2017-01-17 來(lái)源: 幽默笑話 點(diǎn)擊： 
關(guān)于幽默的英語(yǔ)作文篇一：幽默、搞笑的中英文翻譯大全
幽默、搞笑的中英文翻譯大全
~本人見(jiàn)過(guò)的最邪門的翻譯
電影
《國(guó)產(chǎn)007》=《From Beijing with Love》——從北京帶著愛(ài) 《唐伯虎點(diǎn)秋香》=《Flirting Scholar》——正在調(diào)情的學(xué)者
《鹿鼎記》（黃曉明版 陳小春版 梁朝偉版） =《Royal Tramp》——皇家流浪漢
《英雄本色》=《A Better Tomorrow》——明天會(huì)更好
《神雕俠侶》(內(nèi)地版 古天樂(lè)版 劉德華版)=《Saviour of the Soul》——靈魂的救星
《三國(guó)演義》=《Romance of Three Kingdoms》——三個(gè)王國(guó)的羅曼史
《赤壁》＝《Red Cliff》——紅巖
《霸王別姬》=《Farewell My Concubine》——再見(jiàn)了，我的小老婆 《東邪西毒》=《Ashes of Time》——時(shí)間的灰燼（這個(gè)譯名意味深長(zhǎng)，無(wú)論你是東邪還是西毒，武功再高還不是最后都成了時(shí)間的灰燼？）
《甲方乙方》=《Dream Factory》——夢(mèng)工廠
《烈火金剛》=《Steel Meets Fire》——鋼遇上了火
《劉三姐》=《Third Sister Liu》——第三個(gè)姐姐劉
《花樣年華》=《In the Mood for Love》——在愛(ài)的情緒中
五講、四美、三熱愛(ài)
大學(xué)校園里，流行"五講、四美、三熱愛(ài)"，中國(guó)人把其翻譯成："five talks ,four beauty ,three
lovers".美國(guó)人一聽(tīng)迷惑了"five talks"敢情是談了五個(gè)，"four beauty"敢情是談了五個(gè)，其中有四個(gè)是美人，那么"three lovers"一定是愛(ài)上了四個(gè)美人中的三個(gè)（笑聲不斷）。
武林秘籍的英文翻譯
沖靈劍法 GG and MM ’’s soul sword (GG和MM的靈魂之劍 ，聽(tīng)起來(lái)好像很熟悉 )
九陽(yáng)神功 nine man’’s power (九個(gè)男子的力量)
九陰真經(jīng) nine woman’’story (九個(gè)女人的故事)
九陰白骨爪 nine woman catch a white bone
(九個(gè)女人抓著一個(gè)白骨，老外看了還以為會(huì)出現(xiàn)召喚獸呢)
歷史上最強(qiáng)的翻譯
1．we two who and who？
咱倆誰(shuí)跟誰(shuí)阿
2．how are you ? how old are you?
怎么是你，怎么老是你？
3．you don't bird me, I don't bird you
你不 鳥(niǎo)我，我也不 鳥(niǎo)你
4．you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers ！ together up ！
你有種，我要給你點(diǎn)顏色瞧瞧，兄弟們，一起上！
5．hello everybody! f you have something to say, then say! if you have nothing to say, go home!!
有事起奏，無(wú)事退朝
6．you me you me
彼此彼此
7．You Give Me Stop!!
你給我站住！
8．know is know no know is no know
知之為知之， 不知為不 。。。。。。。。。
9．WATCH SISTER
表妹
10．dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse' son can make hole!!
龍生龍，鳳生鳳，老鼠的兒子大地洞
11.American Chinese not enough 美中不足
12.one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng, people die 車禍現(xiàn)場(chǎng)描述(一輛車來(lái)一輛車走，兩車“嘭嘭“，人死了)
13.heart flower angry open 心花怒放
14.go past no mistake past 走過(guò)路過(guò)，不要錯(cuò)過(guò)
15.小明： I am sorry!
老外： I am sorry too!
小明： I am sorry three!
老外： What are you sorry for?
小明： I am sorry five!
16.If you want money, I have no; if you want life, I have one! 要錢沒(méi)有，要命一條！
17.I call Li old big, to year 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。
18．you have two down son. 你有兩下子
horse horse tiger tiger 馬馬虎虎
people mountain people sea 人山人海
If you tiger me, I will mountain you. 你唬我我就扇你
you ask me, me ask who? 你問(wèn)我我問(wèn)誰(shuí)
one poor two white; 一窮二白
eat tofu; 吃豆腐
give you a color to see see! 給你點(diǎn)顏色看看
no good see 不好看
no door! 沒(méi)門
老師叫翻譯Who is this man?
答：這是誰(shuí)的男人？
全班大笑，老師無(wú)語(yǔ)。
we two who and who!
譯：咱倆誰(shuí)跟誰(shuí)�。�
How are you? How old are you?
譯：怎么是你？怎么老是你？
YOU have seed i will give you some color see see, brothers! together up! 譯：你有種，我要給你點(diǎn)顏色瞧瞧。兄弟們，一起上！
I call Li old big.toyear25.
譯：我叫李老大，今年25.
As far as you go to die!
譯：要多遠(yuǎn)死多遠(yuǎn)！
800yuan, eat you, sleep you.
譯：800塊，吃你的，住你的
一次為一個(gè)初中小孩搞家教，在其英語(yǔ)課本上發(fā)現(xiàn)如下恐怖字眼：爸死（bus）爺死( yes )哥死（girls）妹死（Mis）……死光（school）good good study, day day up 好好學(xué)習(xí)，天天向上
三字經(jīng)
人之初： At the begining of life.
性本善： Sex is good.
性相近： Basically,all the sex are same.
習(xí)相遠(yuǎn)： But it depends on how the way you do it.
茍不教： If you do not practise all the time.
性乃遷： Sex will leave you..
關(guān)于幽默的英語(yǔ)作文篇二：英語(yǔ)幽默句子
幽默的英語(yǔ)句子
1) Money is not everything. There?s Mastercard & Visa.
鈔票不是萬(wàn)能的，有時(shí)還需要信用卡。
2) One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每個(gè)人都應(yīng)該熱愛(ài)動(dòng)物，因?yàn)樗鼈兒芎贸浴?3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要節(jié)約用水，盡量和女友一起洗澡。
4)Love the neighbor. But don?t get caught.
要用心去愛(ài)你的鄰居，不過(guò)不要讓她的老公知道。
5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每個(gè)成功男人的背后，都有一個(gè)女人。每個(gè)不成功男人的背后，都有兩個(gè)女人。 6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快樂(lè)的單身漢遲早也會(huì)結(jié)婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
聰明人都是未婚的，結(jié)婚的人很難再聰明起來(lái)。
8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一個(gè)相關(guān)名詞，他會(huì)給你帶來(lái)很多不相關(guān)的親戚（聯(lián)系）。
9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
愛(ài)情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時(shí)間來(lái)培養(yǎng)。（老外也保守，要摸黑辦事，哈哈）
11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩會(huì)生出意外，后排座位上的意外會(huì)生出小孩。
12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. "
現(xiàn)在的夢(mèng)想決定著你的將來(lái)"，所以還是再睡一會(huì)吧。
13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
應(yīng)該有更好的方式開(kāi)始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個(gè)上午都醒來(lái)。
14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? "
"努力工作不會(huì)導(dǎo)致死亡！"不過(guò)我不會(huì)用自己去證明。
15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "
"工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看著別人工作。
16)God made relatives; Thank God we can cho
神決定了誰(shuí)是你的親戚，幸運(yùn)的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地。
17)When two?s company, three?s the result! 兩個(gè)人的狀態(tài)是不穩(wěn)定的，三個(gè)人才是！
18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服飾就象鐵絲網(wǎng)，它阻止你冒然行動(dòng)但并不妨礙你盡情的觀看。
19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
學(xué)的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘記的越多，忘記的越多，知道的越少，為什么學(xué)來(lái)著？
1.國(guó)外有個(gè)節(jié)目采訪lord of ring（指環(huán)王）里面那個(gè)小哈比人時(shí)，他講了個(gè)冷笑話：Q: a deer, has no eyes, what's its name？（一只鹿，沒(méi)有眼睛，應(yīng)該叫什么？）
A: I don?t know ,what is it？（我不知道，該叫什么？）
Q: no eye deer……(no idea)（沒(méi)眼睛鹿……沒(méi)主意（英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)的諧音））
agian, a deer has no eyes, no legs, what's its name？（那么，一只鹿，沒(méi)眼睛，也沒(méi)有腿，該叫什么？）
A: I don?t know, what's it then？（我還是不知道，應(yīng)該叫什么？）
Q: still no idea……”（還是沒(méi)眼睛鹿（用了諧音））
2.某次英文考試有兩道題目：
1）我穿上外套，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)第一個(gè)扣子掉了。
2）他聽(tīng)見(jiàn)電話鈴響，就過(guò)去接了電話。
正確答案應(yīng)為：
1）I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.
2）As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.
但是某生的答案是：
1）Shit!
2）Hello?
3老師在黑板上寫了一句：Time is money，并讓同學(xué)們翻譯。
有名學(xué)生答道：“湯姆是瑪麗�！�
4小明上英文課時(shí)跟老師說(shuō)：May I go to the toilet?
老師說(shuō)：Go ahead.
小明就坐了下來(lái)。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，小明又跟老師說(shuō)：May I go to the toilet?
老師說(shuō)：Go ahead.
小明又坐了下來(lái)。他旁邊的同學(xué)于是忍不住問(wèn)：你不是跟老師說(shuō)要上廁所嗎？怎么不去？小明說(shuō)：你沒(méi)聽(tīng)老師說(shuō)「去你個(gè)頭」啊！
5某日劉洪濤遇到外賓，上前搭話曰：I am hongtao liu．
外賓曰：我他媽還是方片七呢！
6江青會(huì)見(jiàn)外賓，要求翻譯要嚴(yán)格按她的意思翻，不許走樣。
外賓一見(jiàn)到江青，立刻拍馬屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful."
翻譯照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上還要謙虛一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻譯不敢怠慢，把江青的話翻成英文："Where? Where?"
外賓一愣，還有這樣的人，追問(wèn)哪里漂亮的，干脆馬屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere."翻譯：“你到處都很漂亮�！�
江青更高興了，但總是要客氣一下：“不見(jiàn)得，不見(jiàn)得”。
翻譯趕緊翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."
7一對(duì)熱戀中的男女。女生非常沒(méi)有安全感，于是對(duì)著男友說(shuō)：“SAY ?I LOVE YOU!!?SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”
男的答道：“IT!”
8某人刻苦學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)，終有小成。一日上街不慎與一老外相撞，
忙說(shuō)：I am sorry.
老外應(yīng)道：I am sorry too.
某人聽(tīng)后又道：I am sorry three.
老外不解，問(wèn)：What are you sorry for?
某人無(wú)奈，道：I am sorry five.
9某男，亦粗通英文，至使館，有表要填，有一欄是：Sex，該男思之久已，毅然下筆：“Once a week”。
簽證官觀后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.”
該男頓時(shí)赧顏，思之，填下“female”，官楞之，曰：“shouldn?t it be male?”
男急釋曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.
和“Kiss”有關(guān)的詞匯
kiss-ass n.馬屁精,諂媚者, 奉承
kiss good-bye 吻別, 放棄,失去
kiss of death n.死神之吻，乍看有益但會(huì)導(dǎo)致毀滅的行為
kiss of life n.生命之吻
kiss of live n.口對(duì)口人工呼吸
kiss of peace [宗] 接吻禮,團(tuán)結(jié)友愛(ài)的接吻
kiss the rod v.甘心受罰
kiss the post v.吃閉門羹；為時(shí)過(guò)晚
blow a kiss 飛吻
vacuum kiss 真空吻（*ing the air out of one?s partner?s mouth and lungs）
French kiss 法式接吻（kiss with your mouth open and your tongues touching）Platonic kiss 柏拉圖之吻（short kiss on the check for greeting）
Smooch v/n 熱吻
Peckn 匆匆輕吻
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)繞口令
1. Canners can can what they can can but can not can things can't be canned.
2. Bill's big brother is building a beautiful building between two big brick blocks.
3.Please, Paul, pause for applause.
4.“Shall I show you the shop for shoes and shirts?” Shirley said to shelly.
5.Do you agree, if you are free to come to tea with me by the sea?
6.Paul called from the hall that he had slipped on the floor and couldn't get to the door.
7.I'd buy my ties before the price begins to rise.
8.A snow-white swan swam swiftly to catch a slowly swimming snake in a lake.
9.It is a fine thing to sing in Spring, I think.
10.Famine and failure faced the frightened farmer.
11.I am amazed it is a craze these days to dance to music of Jazz.
12.In winter the weather in Wales is wild
13.I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know.
14.Mike likes to write by the nice bright light at night.
15.Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
英語(yǔ)諺語(yǔ)500句 （A:51--100）
51)A man becomes learned by asking questions.
不恥下問(wèn)才能有學(xué)問(wèn)。
52)A man can do no more than he can.
凡事都應(yīng)量力而行。
53)A man cannot spin and reel at the same time.
一心不能二用。
54)A man is known by his friends.
什么人交什么朋友。
55)A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds. 光說(shuō)空話不做事，猶如花園光長(zhǎng)刺。
56)A man without money is no man at all.
一分錢難倒英雄漢。
57)A merry heart goes all the way.
心曠神怡，事事順利。
58) A miss is as good as a mile.
失之毫厘，差之千里。
59)A mother's love never changes.
母愛(ài)永恒。
60)An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
一天一蘋果，不用請(qǐng)醫(yī)生。
61) A new broom sweeps clean.
新官上任三把火。
62) An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
以眼還眼，以牙還牙。
63) An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening.一日之計(jì)在于晨。
64) An old dog cannot learn new tricks.
老狗學(xué)不出新把戲。
65) An ounce of luck is better than a pound of wisdom. 聰明才智，不如運(yùn)氣。
66) An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
預(yù)防為主，治療為輔。
67) A rolling stone gathers no moss.
滾石不生苔，轉(zhuǎn)業(yè)不聚財(cái)。
68) As a man sows, so he shall reap.
種瓜得瓜，種豆得豆。
69) A single flower does not make a spring.
一花獨(dú)放不是春，百花齊放春滿園。
70)A snow year, a rich year.
瑞雪兆豐年。
71) A sound mind in a sound body.
健全的精神寓于健康的身體。
72) A still tongue makes a wise head.
寡言者智。
73) A stitch in time saves nine.
小洞不補(bǔ)，大洞吃苦。
74) A straight foot is not afraid of a crooked shoe.
身正不怕影子斜。
75) A wise head makes a close mouth.
真人不露相，露相非真人。
76) A word spoken is past recalling.
一言既出，駟馬難追。
77) A year's plan starts with spring.
一年之計(jì)在于春。
78) A young idler, an old beggar.
少壯不努力，老大徒傷悲。
79) Bad news has wings.
好事不出門，壞事傳千里。
80) Barking dogs seldom bite.
吠犬不咬人.
81) Beauty lies in the love's eyes.
情人眼里出西施。
82) Be swift to hear, slow to speak.
聽(tīng)宜敏捷，言宜緩行。
83) Better late than never.
不怕慢，單怕站。
84) Better to ask the way than go astray.
問(wèn)路總比迷路好。
85) Between friends all is common.
朋友之間不分彼此。
86) Birds of a feather flock together.
物以類聚，人以群分。
87) Blood is thicker than water.
血濃于水。
88) Blood will have blood.
血債血償。
89) Books and friends should be few but good.
讀書如交友，應(yīng)求少而精。
90) Business is business.
公事公辦。
91) Business is the salt of life.
事業(yè)是人生的第一需要。
92) By reading we eich the mind, by conversation we polish it.讀書使人充實(shí)，交談使人精明。
93) Cannot see the wood for the trees.
關(guān)于幽默的英語(yǔ)作文篇三：英文幽默笑話
1.貓和老鼠
——Mrs Brown went to
visit one of her friend and
carried a small box with
holes punched in the top.
——" What's in your
box?" asked the friend.
——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."
—— "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友，她拿著一個(gè)頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子�！昂凶永镅b的是什么？”朋友問(wèn)道。“一只小貓，”布朗夫人回答說(shuō)，“你知道我晚上睡覺(jué)總夢(mèng)見(jiàn)老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠�！薄翱衫鲜蠖际羌傧氲难健！迸笥颜f(shuō)�！靶∝堃彩羌傧氲��！辈祭史蛉诵÷曊f(shuō)道。
2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸
A guy I know was
towing his boat home
from a fishing trip to Lake
Huron when his car broke
down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able
to
raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location.""I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休倫湖釣完魚(yú)后，我的一個(gè)朋友開(kāi)車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。他沒(méi)帶手機(jī)，不過(guò)，他想，也許他可以通過(guò)海事無(wú)線廣播來(lái)請(qǐng)求公路援助。于是，他爬到他的船里面，啟動(dòng)了無(wú)線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸護(hù)衛(wèi)隊(duì)警官作出了回應(yīng)，“報(bào)告你的位置”�！癐-75號(hào)公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會(huì)之后，警官問(wèn)我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時(shí)開(kāi)得有多快？”
3.The Mean Man's Party
吝嗇鬼的聚會(huì)
The notorious cheap
skate finally decided to
have a party. Explaining to
a friend how to find his
apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor
and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開(kāi)了后，再用你的腳把門推開(kāi)�！薄盀槭裁次乙梦业闹夂湍_呢？”
“天哪！” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧？”
4.Talking clock 會(huì)說(shuō)話的鐘
——While proudly showing off
his new apartment to friends, a
college student led the way into
the den. "What is thebig brass
gong and hammer for?" one of
his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
——"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed
from
the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
一個(gè)學(xué)生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意�！澳莻�(gè)大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的？”他的一個(gè)朋友問(wèn)他�！澳峭嬉鈨簠柡α�，那是一個(gè)會(huì)說(shuō)話的鐘”，學(xué)生回答�！斑@鐘怎么工作的”，他的朋友問(wèn)。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學(xué)生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽(tīng)到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白癡！現(xiàn)在是凌晨?jī)牲c(diǎn)鐘了！”
5.那就更糟了 Much Worse
----Policeman: Why
didn't you shout for
help when you were
robbed of your watch?
----Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。
6.需要推一下嗎
Need a push?
——A man is in bed asleep
with his wife when there is
a rat- a-tat-tat on the door.
——He rolls over and looks
at his clock, and it's half
past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. ——Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.
——So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs.
——He opens the door and there is man standing there. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
——"Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??"
——"No, get lost(走開(kāi)!), it's half past three. I was in bed." says the man and slams the door. ——He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Rememberthat night
we broke down on the pouring rain on the way
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