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<br>　　生活里缺少什么，人們才會(huì)渴望什么。正因?yàn)樯钊遮厛?jiān)硬，人們才渴望柔軟，所以，“暖男”開(kāi)始流行。一篇寫“暖男”的文章，發(fā)布在個(gè)人的微信公眾號(hào)上之后，創(chuàng)下了幾百萬(wàn)的瀏覽量，足以說(shuō)明，人們的這種渴望有多么強(qiáng)烈。<br>　　當(dāng)我們談?wù)摗芭小睍r(shí)，首先面臨的問(wèn)題是，該怎么給出定義？綜合了諸多的討論結(jié)果之后，百度百科給出了定義：所謂“暖男”，是“能給人溫暖感覺(jué)的男子”。暖男的要素，更多體現(xiàn)在生活和情感領(lǐng)域。他們溫和細(xì)膩，能夠洞悉和體察別人的情感，他們勤勞肯干，懂得照顧人，是顧家、愛(ài)家的生活家，能讓別人覺(jué)得如沐春風(fēng)，給身處不安之中的人，提供安全感和舒適感。<br>　　那么，世界上到底有沒(méi)有這么溫暖的人？似乎有的吧，在電影里，在小說(shuō)中，在明星給出的形象里。<br>　　例如《來(lái)自星星的你》中的都教授，例如電影《橫道世之介》的主人公，都是經(jīng)典暖男。尤其是橫道世之介，他愛(ài)笑，像是沒(méi)有心事，他熱情洋溢、天真爛漫，讓所有人都懷念他，他樂(lè)于助人，最后也因?yàn)橹硕�。他像是某個(gè)人，又像是所有人，他分明是有特性的人，呈現(xiàn)他性格的細(xì)節(jié)，都是那么具體，但他的形象又不那么真實(shí)。所以網(wǎng)友說(shuō)，你會(huì)覺(jué)得世之介這個(gè)人物是真實(shí)存在于生活中的，只是想不起他到底在哪里。他是由一千個(gè)人合成的，是用理想性格為素材做成的“芭比娃娃”，更是20世紀(jì)80年代那個(gè)純真時(shí)代的化身。<br>　　顯然，所謂“暖男”，其實(shí)不過(guò)是完美男性的另一個(gè)名字，只不過(guò)，這一次加上了新的表述，換上了溫暖牌包裝，更注重強(qiáng)調(diào)男性的情感能力，隱藏了對(duì)他們經(jīng)濟(jì)能力的要求。為什么會(huì)在這樣的年代，出現(xiàn)這么一種需求？心理專家劉丹概括得更好，她認(rèn)為，現(xiàn)在人們的生活節(jié)奏快，情感成本高，人們都在避免感情投入和感情卷入，而所謂“暖男”，其實(shí)更是有感情滋養(yǎng)能力和投入能力的男性。<br>　　正如電影《卡薩布蘭卡》中的那段臺(tái)詞所說(shuō)，一個(gè)男人，有沒(méi)有錢、有沒(méi)有地位不重要，重要的是他有沒(méi)有生命力。盡管，這種生命力必然有世俗意義上的結(jié)果，指向財(cái)富，指向地位。但讓人嘆服的，卻不是財(cái)富和地位，而是滾石上山一樣的、綿綿不絕的，與生命之短促、人生之艱難起伏對(duì)抗的心力和生命力，以及將周圍人凝聚在一起、給他們安全感的能力�？傊谖镔|(zhì)生活極大地豐富之后，人們又對(duì)男性提出了情感能力上的要求。<figure><img src="http://img1.qikan.com.cn/qkimages/dfnx/dfnx201803/dfnx20180320-1-l.jpg" /><figcaption></figcaption></figure><br>　　這種需求并不過(guò)分，但當(dāng)我們將這種需求不斷放大，將“暖男”視為尋找伴侶的最重要模板時(shí)，難免會(huì)遺憾地發(fā)現(xiàn)，能夠滿足這些條件的男性，實(shí)在太少了，甚至可以說(shuō)，根本不存在。這樣的男性只可能存在于電影電視里，以及明星打造的公共形象中。而現(xiàn)實(shí)中，每個(gè)人都有自己的脾氣、性格，以及自己的具體情況�！芭小逼鋵�(shí)是一種人造生物，供人們遐想和對(duì)照，而我們面對(duì)的，只可能是一個(gè)個(gè)具體的人，有瑕疵、有缺陷，如果要求一個(gè)人集一千個(gè)人的優(yōu)點(diǎn)于一身，多少有點(diǎn)虛妄。<br>　　隱藏在這種“暖男”心理寄托背后的，還有人們一直以來(lái)對(duì)完美的渴望。這是一種烏托邦式的性格理想，沉湎在這種對(duì)完美的渴望里，只會(huì)讓人對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)越發(fā)失望，對(duì)自己的認(rèn)同感日漸降低。所以，當(dāng)我們談?wù)摗芭小睍r(shí)，需要時(shí)刻銘記，那是一個(gè)理想，也是人性的天堂，而我們掉過(guò)頭來(lái)，還是要面對(duì)自己千瘡百孔的真實(shí)人生，以及漏洞百出的命運(yùn)。<p style="margin-bottom:10px"><strong>相關(guān)熱詞搜索：</strong><a href="http://smilezhuce.com/tag/%D2%F2%D3%C9.html" target="_blank">因由</a> <a href="http://smilezhuce.com/tag/%B5%B1%B5%C0.html" target="_blank">當(dāng)?shù)?/a> </p> <p></p> <p><span id="skoikic" class="disclaimer"></span></p> 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