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<br>　　我父親由于在新中國(guó)成立前有過(guò)一段“不清白”的歷史，因此被扣上了“歷史反革命”的帽子；我的祖輩由于勤苦勞作，勤儉持家，家境尚可，因此家庭成分被定為“上中農(nóng)”。由于這兩座大山的重壓，我的童年、青少年時(shí)代就變得灰暗而凄冷。<br>　　選戲苗<br>　　小時(shí)候的我，很喜歡跳舞唱歌，學(xué)校里排練文娛節(jié)目總少不了我。<br>　　記得剛?cè)胄W(xué)的那年冬天，學(xué)校排練舞劇《白毛女》中的《北風(fēng)那個(gè)吹》。老師選我獨(dú)舞，另外幾個(gè)小朋友伴舞。老師教我們用腳尖走舞步，我竟然沒(méi)學(xué)幾遍就會(huì)了�，F(xiàn)在想來(lái)，老師真是膽大，我也真是勇敢——穿著布鞋腳尖著地，不怕把腳扭傷或身體摔傷？<br>　　這個(gè)節(jié)目，由于老師的大膽嘗試和我們的精彩表演而一舉獲勝，在公社比賽中順利奪冠，并代表全公社幾十個(gè)學(xué)校到縣里參賽。演出結(jié)束后，老師興奮地對(duì)我們說(shuō)：“你們今天的表演很出彩，待會(huì)兒縣劇團(tuán)的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)要來(lái)看望你們呢！”對(duì)于才七八歲的孩子來(lái)講，我們并不懂得領(lǐng)導(dǎo)看望的意思，但老師激動(dòng)的神情在告訴我們，我們一定很成功，甚至有點(diǎn)了不起。<br>　　一會(huì)兒，有幾位叔叔阿姨來(lái)到了我們中間。他們先是和各個(gè)學(xué)校的帶隊(duì)老師一一握手，然后一位叔叔對(duì)著我們不知說(shuō)些什么。舞臺(tái)上的孩子們像麻雀似地嘰嘰喳喳完全蓋過(guò)了他一人的聲音。<br>　　領(lǐng)導(dǎo)走后，老師們開(kāi)始點(diǎn)名，召集本校的孩子集中。我們喜滋滋地準(zhǔn)備回家，可老師卻說(shuō)，暫時(shí)不回家還有任務(wù)。<br>　　“還要再演嗎？”我們又來(lái)了勁。<br>　　“不是，是縣劇團(tuán)要招小演員，打算從今天參演的小朋友中間選拔，你們想不想��？”<br>　　“想！”小朋友們異口同聲。那時(shí)候，男女老少都被樣板戲浸潤(rùn)著，誰(shuí)都會(huì)哼唱。李鐵梅、小常寶的形象深深扎根在我們心中，那又粗又長(zhǎng)的大辮子一甩一甩，多么神氣！平時(shí)我們一些小不點(diǎn)經(jīng)常在一起學(xué)著表演《紅燈記》《智取威虎山》等劇目中的人物呢！能有機(jī)會(huì)做演員，那真是我們求之不得的夢(mèng)想！<br>　　在激動(dòng)與興奮中，我們被老師帶到了一座房子前。小朋友們都乖乖地排好了隊(duì)伍，站直了身子，安靜地等待幸運(yùn)降臨。<br>　　望著在我們前面的小朋友，他們很快地進(jìn)去又很快地出來(lái)。我的心里禁不住不停地想著：不知招多少個(gè)小演員，現(xiàn)在看中了幾個(gè)，我有沒(méi)有好運(yùn)氣？<br>　　終于輪到我們一組了，老師把我們送到一個(gè)房間門(mén)口，叮囑說(shuō)：“要大方，里面的老師問(wèn)什么你們就答什么，讓你們做什么就表演什么，千萬(wàn)別緊張……”<br>　　哪能不緊張呢？我的心里怦怦直跳，看看其他小朋友，她們的小臉都漲得通紅，看樣子比我還緊張。<br>　　這是一個(gè)寬敞的教室，只有前面3套桌椅和坐在椅子上的3位叔叔、阿姨�！皝�(lái)，小朋友們，走近些�！弊谥虚g的叔叔目光落在我身上，“你就是剛才《白毛女》中領(lǐng)舞的小朋友吧？”<br>　　“是的�！蔽仪由鼗卮�。<br>　　“你把剛才的節(jié)目再表演一遍�！彼殖业�4位同伴說(shuō)，“你們就不需要了。”<br>　　兩邊的阿姨隨即哼起了《白毛女》音樂(lè)。<br>　　熟悉的旋律，親切的目光，讓我一下子消除了緊張，自由而舒展地舞了起來(lái)。<br>　　“不錯(cuò)，不錯(cuò)�！笔迨灏⒁潭汲臆E起了大拇指。<br>　　“你會(huì)唱京戲嗎？”<br>　　“會(huì)�！蔽液茏孕诺鼗卮�。<br>　　“那就唱一段給叔叔、阿姨聽(tīng)聽(tīng)�！�<br>　　在叔叔、阿姨期待的目光中，我唱了一段《紅燈記》中“我家的表叔數(shù)不清”。<br>　　“好！”叔叔、阿姨又一次夸獎(jiǎng)著。<br>　　叔叔問(wèn)：“小朋友，你喜歡演戲嗎？”<br>　　“喜歡！”我大聲回答。<br>　　“我們選上你了�！彼殖鴥晌话⒁陶f(shuō)，“這孩子，很有表演天賦，而且很大方，給她做登記吧。”<br>　　一位阿姨打開(kāi)一本紅色封面的本子，記下了我的姓名、出生年月、家庭住址。接著又問(wèn)：“小朋友，你知道你家的成分嗎？”<br>　　我一愣，怎么做演員還要看家里的成分？不能說(shuō)！我幼小的心里很清楚，我家是上中農(nóng)，是屬于不好的一種，要是給他們知道了，我就做不成演員了。于是，我故作思考狀：“我想不起來(lái)了�！�<br>　　“沒(méi)關(guān)系，過(guò)幾天我們會(huì)去你們學(xué)校了解，還會(huì)和你父母見(jiàn)面。對(duì)了，你父母是做什么的？”<br>　　父母？又是一個(gè)沉重打擊！母親做老師，還算光彩�？筛赣H——想起了父親常常被拉去游街，胸口掛一個(gè)牌子，上面寫(xiě)著“歷史反革命”，我怎能告訴他們？<br>　　見(jiàn)我一副緊張的樣子，阿姨笑著說(shuō)：“成分就不要想了，先告訴阿姨你父母的情況吧�！�<br>　　看來(lái)是躲不過(guò)了，我柔弱的心一下子勇敢起來(lái)，大著膽子說(shuō)：“我媽做老師，就在我讀書(shū)的學(xué)校。我爸是反革命，在村上種地�？墒�，我爸不是壞人，他是好人！”<br>　　那一刻的情景，我永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)忘記——我的眼里噙滿(mǎn)了淚花，但我感覺(jué)到我的神情一定很剛毅。因?yàn)槲覉?jiān)信我爸是好人！做不做演員隨便吧。<br>　　真是一語(yǔ)驚滿(mǎn)座。面前3人的表情頃刻發(fā)生了變化，慈祥和善的面容換成了驚訝與愕然。隨即，右邊的一位阿姨匆匆走了出去，一會(huì)又回到了教室。她朝那位叔叔嘀咕了幾句，然后叔叔便朝我揮揮手說(shuō)：“小朋友，讓老師帶你回去吧，還有你們�！彼难劾锓路痫h過(guò)些許惋惜和同情。<br>　　走出教室，老師一下把我摟進(jìn)懷里：“你干嗎說(shuō)父親是反革命，只要說(shuō)父親種地好了�！�<br>　　但我好像比老師看得透：“我今天不說(shuō)，過(guò)幾天他們來(lái)調(diào)查還是要知道的……”<br>　　回到學(xué)校，我母親立即就知道了這件事�；丶业穆飞�，她對(duì)我說(shuō)：“孩子，做演員太辛苦，他們不收你，我和你爸還不舍得呢！”<br>　　“我也不舍得離開(kāi)你們呢！”我依偎在母親的胸前，強(qiáng)忍著眼眶里的淚水。<br>　　從此，我就斷了做演員的念頭。不過(guò)，整個(gè)讀書(shū)時(shí)代，我一直是學(xué)校的文藝骨干。就是后來(lái)當(dāng)了教師，我編排的文藝節(jié)目也多次在各級(jí)各類(lèi)比賽中獲獎(jiǎng)。<br>　　音樂(lè)課上<br>　　讀三年級(jí)時(shí)的一堂音樂(lè)課上，老師教唱《貧農(nóng)下中農(nóng)一條心》。<p 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